Sunday, March 01, 2009

The arranging of Baggage

I just had the most wonderful epiphany. I was pinned down earlier today by someone whom I do not like. And just now, I realized there is no need for me to be held hostage to her negative rants. I know that in the past she has said some nasty things about me, when I was YW president. It really upset me that hours after merely speaking with her, she still has the power to make me feel bad about myself.

But just now, I remembered that there is no reason for me to have to talk to her ever again. I am not in YW anymore. I was in fact released about 8 months ago. I do not need to subject myself to her verbal poison. I have never heard her say anything that was not a complaint-frequently very personal things about people I know. I would not stand near someone who was using fire unsafely; why would I let myself be burned by her vitriol.

So I happily release myself from any misplaced sense of responsibility I might feel. It is not my job to make her feel happy with our ward. I will remain polite, but if she interjects herself into a conversation I will excuse myself and leave at once. Interactions with her will be 10 words or less. I don't need her or the emotional weight, and like a balloon I am letting it go. And it is so beautiful to watch it float away.


Nellie Jane said...

ERIN!!! Okinawa is so so close and there are Space-A Flights that go between JA and GU all the time, like 2 or 3 times a week. You should DEFINITELY come over to Guam. When do you guys get there? I bet my "lawyerguy" :) and yours will be working on stuff, at least I think so anyway--that is SO exciting! I'm happy for you guys. And I love all the sewing and quilting you are doing. Love the RS quilt and the potholders too. Sorry to hear about the drama and tension in YW. Church is really no place for those kind of attitudes, and causing negative feelings, I'm so sorry. But I'm glad that you're freeing yourself from her "fire".

You have a cool blog. I like the haiku too! Let me know when you are in Japan! We'll plan a trip or two!

Natalie said...

Hey!! I just discovered this blog. Very cool! I love to see all the crafty quilt stuff. You are seriously so talented. Hey, are you talking about me again!? Just teasing. I sure do miss serving with you in Young Women's. I'm sure they are still talking smack about me! You better not be joining in! Can I be team teacher with you??? ;o) You know I love ya!!